Deciding to make a public commitment to another person is a wonderful, exciting and indeed slightly scary time. There are so many decisions – so many choices and of course you want it to be perfect. But what does that actually look like to you? Whatever your vision I can help you to make it happen.
Using me to create and conduct your ceremony frees you up to have the day of your dreams at whatever venue you chose, at whatever time you want, with whatever theme you love and including everything that is meaningful to you. My ceremonies are relaxed and informal with your personal story at the very heart. I enjoy finding ways to involve your family and friends in the ceremony, finding ways for them to share their love and support for you so they feel part of the day rather than just sitting there listening to words they have heard many times before.
The vows you make to each other, which we craft together, mean that you are making commitments that have real meaning and relevance to you, in words which reflect you and your relationship and in a style you are comfortable with. There is no such thing as “one size fits all” when you are making promises for a lifetime and as this forms the foundation of your married life then it seems appropriate that they should be written exclusively for you.
The legal bit
In England and Wales you currently still need to have a legal ceremony if you want to be married but this can be done with two witnesses at your local Register Office for around £50. This then allows you to concentrate your energies and finances on the ceremony you want to share with all your family and friends without any restrictions. You can still have your wedding ceremony at a licensed venue if you want to, but you have much more flexibility.
If you are planning a Vow Renewal, a Commitment Ceremony or a Handfasting (without marriage) there is no legal section to the commitment you’re making so you are able to do whatever you would like.
Personalise your ceremony
I’m conducting increasing numbers of outdoor ceremonies at the moment – in gardens, up mountains, in woodlands and on beaches but this is just one of the options open to you. I have also created ceremonies in a brewery, in barns, in village halls, in an antique centre, in deconsecrated churches, in castle ruins, in country houses as well as hotels. Where is your special place
There are many ways to personalise your ceremony including the music played and poems or readings shared. Traditionally there is music at the beginning, in the middle (when the certificate is signed) and at the end but you don’t have to stick to that. If music is a big thing for you then why not have a “play off”, when you each chose a piece of music as a surprise for your partner on the day? You can have friends choosing a poem or reading for you, or indeed they can write one about you. If you have children they can write some words for you and about you which they share (or I do) on the day…depending on the age of the children this can be amazingly moving (and sometimes risky!)
You can choose to be “walked down the aisle” by your father, your mother, your son, your dog, together as a couple or not to walk in at all! There are so many possibilities – its about finding the right one for you. Most couples exchange vows – but there are many different styles and ways of delivering these words so I work with you to find the best way for you to say what you want to say, with all the people who are most important to you.
There are many rituals you can chose to include in your ceremony and I spend time with you to find the perfect blend. However I don’t just take these off the shelf and add them in, they are all customised and adapted so that they reflect you as individuals and as a couple, and they resonate with you as a meaningful and unique additional way of demonstrating your love for each other. These include:
- Wine Box & Love Letter
- Ceremony of the Cups (San San Kudo)
- Tea Ceremony
- Thumb Print Picture
- Warming of the Wedding Rings
I am always on the look-out for rituals from different places and am more than happy to incorporate traditions which are relevant and meaningful to you and your family. If you want to have a chat about your special day please contact me.
My fee for creating and conducting your bespoke wedding ceremony starts at £450 with additional costs depending on the rituals you include.
Travel is free within a 25 mile radius of Abegavenny and then mileage is charged at 45p per mile thereafter.